Will indecisivenes and fear ruin my life?

I cannot choose a path in college. I cannot focus to study. I am terribly depressed and have suicidal ideation. I am close to dropping out. Infact, I withdrew last semester to give myself time to resolve unanswered questions. I am terrified of going to lab or discussion cles. I am terrified of interacting with other students. I am terrified of the mailman and ordering pizza. I will likely, again, not make it through the semester. I have been institutionalized repeatedly during my time in college. No medicine works. No therapy works. I have been hospitalized again and again. Maybe I should quit school. Maybe I should get a job. Maybe I should change my major again for the fifth time. Maybe I should blow out the pilot lights before I turn on the stove.